Wednesday, March 23, 2011

These are the days of our lives...

Sometimes I forget.  I forget to be present.  I forget to focus on what is going really well in the moment I am in.  Over the years, I have built up a kind of savings account, a vault where I stockpile most of my joy for that proverbial rainy day, and I allow myself to make withdrawals from it only during the big events of my life that I feel merit celebration.

It's true that I have lived most of my life in anticipation of what I call the "Oscar" moments - the moments, professionally or personally, where the most lofty of my dreams are finally made manifest into the delicious reality I have always craved.  A person can miss a lot of life waiting for those big events to occur.  I don't think I fully realized until yesterday just how many of my blessings I have missed out on because I was waiting impatiently for a better blessing to happen by.   It can be dreary in that suspended state, all damp and gray; a monotonous match to the relentless rainy season that seems to go on forever in this city, void of the kind of warmth and color that deserve to be relished in life's simple pleasures.

Thankfully, the clouds finally broke yesterday afternoon in Vancouver and they gave way to an exuberant sun!  In celebration of the first signs of Spring, I took my little boys for an outing to the park around the corner.  Maxie is walking, though not on his own yet, so I have always taken the stroller to transport him while Zach skips along beside us.  But yesterday, I left the stroller at home and the three of us walked together hand in hand, Max grasping my finger on one side while holding Zach's little hand in the other.   As I bent down to see how Max was enjoying his first big boy excursion, my cheek brushed his soft curls, all wild with ringlets, and I could feel the excited shriek of his giggles hit the warm air in front of us even before I caught his gaze and could see the rapture so apparent in his face.  He was utterly delighted to be in this spontaneous adventure with us, this milestone of taking his first steps to the park.

And for just a moment I thought to myself, "Someday these boys will be in elementary school, then the teenage years will hit and one day not so far away from today, they will be grown men.  Yet here we are walking in the sunshine."  I was bent down to be as close to their peals of laughter as possible, to be as close to their impossibly young years as I could get.  And I understood in that instant that it was every bit an Oscar moment as anything I had ever imagined in my wildest dreams.  And my inner wisdom called to me a reminder in the form of a banner streaming through the clear blue skies of my incrementally liberated mind: "I am living it.  Right here.  Right now.  I am living my dreams."

The park was fabulous and later, after a spaghetti dinner whipped up by Bryce, our fab foursome danced around the dining room to the musical stylings of Eddie Money.  We've got two tickets to paradise.  Kids travel for free.  No need to pack our bags.  We've already arrived.

I just need to remember not to forget.

Thank you for joining me in my quest for bliss.  I hope that wherever you are this finds you on the sunny side of the street...

Your pal,

The Happiness Detective

Two Tickets To Paradise
Got a surprise especially for you,
Something that both of us have always wanted to do.
We've waited so long, waited so long.
We've waited so long, waited so long.

I'm gonna take you on a trip so far from here,
I've got two tickets in my pocket, now baby, we're gonna disappear.
We've waited so long, waited so long.
We've waited so long, waited so long.

I've got two tickets to paradise,
Won't you pack your bags, we'll leave tonight,
I've got two tickets to paradise,
I've got two tickets to paradise.

oh-oh-uh-oh-uh-oh-uh-oh-uh-oh-uh-oh
oh-oh-uh-oh-uh-oh-uh-oh-uh-oh-uh-oh

I'm gonna take you on a trip so far from here,
I've got two tickets in my pocket, now baby, we're gonna disappear.
We've waited so long, waited so long.
We've waited so long, waited so long.

I've got two tickets to paradise,
Won't you pack your bags, we'll leave tonight,
I've got two tickets to paradise,
I've got two tickets to paradise.

1 comment:

No More Excuses said...

I do believe this is my favorite post of yours yet. I am reading this while getting misty eyes and a lump in my throat.
I adore you.
Love Valerie
xo