Friday, June 4, 2010

Just breathe

Today is a challenging day and so I seek to calm the storm brewing in my imagination telling me about the sinkhole I believe is sure to swallow me.

Does anyone else worry about money, career, and one's place in the world? I find these are subjects that occupy my mental space these days. These are the ingredients that, when combined, are the batter for a sticky and unpleasant mix. The sinkhole to which I refer.

So how does one release the fear of what may or may not lie ahead? The breath. Let me see if I can talk myself through this: If I breathe and if I focus on my breath, then I create a space within for quiet introspection. It's just the break I need from my fear. This breath, lolling up and through me like a most welcome breeze, sweeps the negative away and stretches my inner cavity until there is enough quiet room within me to still the chatter that calls forth doom. This stillness then becomes a fresh palate, clean and pure, untouched by my circumstance, providing the canvas to create the masterpiece I desire.


Then this breath, and the space it has gifted me within, become a magnet attracting components to my experience which make me feel lighter. While my ego feels stubborn today and wants to drag me through the trenches, my breath wants to offer me a reprieve. And I want to accept.

I let go of this struggle. I welcome the sun. I welcome light and ease and freedom. These are qualities I find that I re-invite into my experience on a daily basis for my default setting tends to rest on gloom and worry. So I have to push the lever, every morning, over to the side that calls forth peace into my realm. That is where I would like my setting to be, on the side of knowing that all is well.

Today, I will simply breathe and allow my life force to be still in the midst of activity so that it might re-charge within me and call forth all that I desire. And what I desire most of all today is to feel good.

I want to be a good mother. I want my children to see a woman who is relaxed. I want only confidence and prosperity to touch their young lives. And I want this for myself as well. I want to be the role model offering the example via experience and not only rhetoric.

Well, you have to give up something old to make room for something new. And if there is only room within me for one focus at a time, and if there is also within me a swirling hurricane of worry and doubt, then these are exactly the decrepit pests I must give up in order to welcome the feeling of ease.

What if I go about my day deciding that every thing in life is easy? Though every thing may not always be clear to me, what if tranquility was the wind at my back and that was all the clarity I required in order to create my day? Imagine the day that would unfold before me if that were so...

I want it to be so. I will take my first breath and start anew.

The breath brings me back here to this place where I was born - a quiet knowing. This knowing became lost to me somehow along my travels. But it feels familiar. It welcomes me back to kindness. It invites me to the table and serves me a plate of the kind of sustenance that reminds me to be gentle with myself. I know this place. I have moved many miles away from it through my life but there is no denying that it is my home.

I lay my bags down at the door and step inside. If ever the noise outside these walls distracts me, I will simply breathe and know that I am where I belong.

Right now it is quiet. I like it here. I think I'll stay a while.

I wish you peace and prosperity today.

May you always have a home to go back to.

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